Funny thing, the ourobouros of grief. I am convinced that my own energy affects the number of people that stalk me and view me on these sites, as it seems to vary widely and often corresponds to my state of mind. That probably sounds solipsistic, but that's where I am right now and I'm okay with that.

I'm dedicating my energies to starting a night show on BTR; there will be weekly segments for healers called "Healer 2 Healer", and open phone/chat segments for discussion of healing and short meditations and readings called "Mystical Life". I need to get some audio clips for the show and I'm looking for guests to appear on it. We'll see what happens, I'm excited about it.

I always knew I had a face for radio (LOL).

Has been a week of emotional and spiritual reevaluation, and in two separate, unrelated incidents, I cut six inches off my ponytail and fourteen off my grown-out bangs. (My hair is still down to the small of my back).

It was part of "evening myself out" as they say. I've been letting things go for too long, being that stream flower that floats along without focus or direction. If the reality of life were different, I might be able to Zen my way through, but this middle world thing generally requires better grounding in order to keep kibble in the cat bowl.

My old fall-back has always been nursing. As a third gen nurse and in the field since I was 18, it's been a reliable, if taxing and ambiguous career. It has led me from long term cares to acute care hospitals, a skilled/rehab facility and home health, back and forth as circumstances required. I like people, and I enjoy helping them find better health... but the system. *sigh* I am a team player, but I am not that great with dogma and authority. I'm also prone to think, and live, not just outside the box but in a space where there is no box.

So my energy work studies, my interests in alternative health and adjunctive therapies, curiosity about the paranormal and how things like prayer and presence affect us, the power of the subconscious mind and the placebo effect. How we are fazed by music, by art, by movement and by meditation. The inexplicable reality of spontaneous remission.

So what in all that is magic, and what is just a corner ahead of science as we know it? Does it matter? I want to be around that corner, not hanging safely back with the conservative pack who only dream of what happens, not what could.

Hurrah, I must have tilted the wheel again, the "less desiring of sex" thing disappeared (LOL).

Of course, now my life will get busy, and I won't have time for it...

Oh, heck, I'll make time for that.

These are the days you'll be talking about when you're old.

All this stuff we've been experiencing politically, economically, socially, and on and on... I am already seeing people girding up in survivalist mode, ready to head for the hills, literally and figuratively, with their canned goods and gardening tools.

If one good thing can come from the reboot of everything as we know it, that might be a change in consumer behavior overall, as it has been pretty crazy for many decades due to easy credit (a major reason for this collapse, by the way). Get ready to have to live within your means, whatever that means to you.

And if you're particularly paranoid, buy solid investments like gold and silver, tank up all the gas you can and stockpile durable goods. Remember those bread lines in Russia when they collapsed?

If your partner is sick, will you still kiss him/her?

• Yes
• No

Well, yes, but maybe not on the mouth until they aren't contagious. Love and affection shouldn't make you stupid (or sick).

I'm a nurse; I won't wipe my partner down with Clorox wipes or anything, but I do tend to watch for little hygiene things like hand washing and double dipping. Most of the time it doesn't matter, because you'll have common germs from living together... but acquired illness is different.

Oh, BLEARGH. Their upgrade apparently included removing my ability to turn off the IM, one of the main reasons I feel comfortable hanging out here.

After attending a couple of late shows at BlogTalk last night I browsed by here and was divebombed.

PLEASE, OKC people, let us turn that thing off. People can see if I'm on or not, and they can message me if they like, but I am so not into IMing with strangers in the night.

I went to a show on BlogTalk the other evening with a local clairvoyant/medium named Dakota Lawrence, who is one of the founders of our Paranormal Society based out of Shreveport. The show rocked, I really enjoyed being in the chat room while he was getting calls and hearing all that while we discussed it in real time.

Last night he gave me a call and we traded readings; I was very pleased to 'meet' him, he's an adorable and energetic young man with great potential. Looking forward to working with him and the other members of the team.

There's a haunted tour tomorrow that I'm strongly considering going to, since the workshop I'd planned to attend didn't make. I really want to start promoting my intuitive readings again and manifest enough clients and students to keep me from having to go back to nursing work full time. It can happen, if it's time.

To be thought ugly or unacceptable

because one's beauty is outside the current fashion

is deeply wounding to the natural joy

that belongs to the wild nature.

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I'm sure just about everyone has heard of the standard Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." If the current times don't qualify for that, I don't want to imagine anything more interesting.

I'd never challenge fate by asking "What next?" but wow, if it's not one thing, it's another. What a strange year, and it's only 3/4 over.

Between politics, the tanking economy, fuel crisis, endless wars, etc. we're in a pretty strange position, and not in a good way. On the personal front, I speak with people almost every day who are dealing with breakups, divorces, family deaths and job loss. Of course there are marriages and children being born, but not at the speed of the bad fu. People are literally thisclose to breaking down from situational stress.

I've heard it said that we are getting ready for a global transformation, not just in middle world reality terms but in spiritual and emotional terms... like an awakening. And to a degree it makes sense, that the travail would result in a rebirth of some kind.

On the meanwhile, though, transition sucks. I'll keep praying for grace and the ability to stay grounded and centered while everything decides what it's going to do.

How did I get the "less desiring of sex" icon? Obviously, somebody has not been paying attention to me.

I suppose I should go back and check my questions. Do you think it has to do with my monogamous streak? I also said on one of the questions that I valued intelligence over sexiness and would stay with a partner who couldn't have sex. I stick by those answers, even if they gave me the dreaded icon.

But heavens to betsy, I am so not averse to sex.