I like comic books, read too much (this used to say "read too much Marshall McLuhan, but general consensus is that I just read too much, period. Given that I've already smashed the 50 Book Challenge to pieces this year, I'll side with the General Consensus.), have only a vague idea of what to do with my life, and expect to find all the right answers just as soon as I stop looking for them. My brain often races along faster than my common decency mental filter can keep up with, and my mouth is all too happy to support that arrangement. The result of this is that my favourite people are ones who can keep the hell up with me while I'm bouncing around from subject to subject, astounding/offending everyone in my path.

I may be the most un-outdoorsy person to ever move to the state of Colorado, but I'm hoping to make room for some rock climbing shenanigans. (I used to be a truly excellent climber, hopefully I'll get that back.)

I've decided that, as of yesterday, my life is on a perpetual quest for More Awesome. This mostly involves using "dude" as part of my regular vernacular and attempting to incorporate the high-five into everyday life, but has been known to branch out into castle spelunking, reverse escalator riding, and/or various other events that may or maynot someday get me dead.

The gods of academia decided that it'd be funny to see what'd happen if my pipe dream of becoming the world's foremost expert on lolcats came true. They handed me a full scholarship and everything. I'm not even kidding, I head to Boulder, CO for grad school in August.

reading comic books, laughing at b movies, drinking pepsi, remembering obscure scifi short stories, semiotic analysis, izone photography, tetris, beer snobbery, supporting the creative endeavors of my friends (whether or not they suck), telling my friends that their creative endeavors might actually suck, geeking out over some band you've never heard of, moshing clockwise, puddle jumping, moon tanning, trying to eat my weight in waffles, writing honestly, connect-the-dots, setting new heights for blinding sarcasm.

I'm really bad at: bowling, mini golf, drinking wine, maintaining my composure in polite company, ordering food in foreign countries, speaking languages besides english (sadly), chitchatting about politic(k)s, parallel parking, astrophysics, remembering the scoring notation for baseball, faking happiness, scrabble, writing these profiles. not like any of that stops me from trying.

My tshirt has squid on it. 5 minutes later, they recruit me for their useless trivia quizzo team.

a) The Phantom Tollbooth, Einstein's Dreams, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Just-So Stories, Brave New World, The Bicentennial Man, His Dark Materials; Preacher, Transmetropolitan, Concrete, Fables, Fell, Amazing Spider Man, Marvel Zombies, Ultimate X Men; Paul Auster, F. Paul Wilson, Bill Bryson.

b) The Matrix, Josie and the Pussycats, Land of the Dead, Iron Man, Logan's Run, Cabin Fever, The Apple, Robot Jox, Splendor, Wayne's World, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Mystery Men, Newsies, In the Mouth of Madness, The Game, Cube, The Sandlot.

c) The Weakerthans, Troubled Hubble, Nirvana, Garbage, Fountains of Wayne, Manowar, Idlewild, Holy Fuck, Brainiac, Negativland, Pig Destroyer, Les Savy Fav, Genghis Tron, Moxy Fruvous, Better Than Ezra, The Flaming Lips, For Squirrels, John Zorn, Lightning Bolt, thepAperchAse, bands you've never heard of, blah blah blah.

d) ice creams of the future.

media history/analysis, standardcrapanswersmooshedtogethertocountasone, zombies, geektastic friends, live music, living in fear of an Irony Singularity.

Extended gambits. Distractions. Leonardo DaVinci. Time travel. Time travel in comic books. How mass media affects public perception. How political photography is used to sway public perception. Why liberal hotheads are just as infuriating as conservative hotheads. Why don't I have a better cup of tea in front of me right now? Does Comcast's Dating on Demand remind anyone else of MadTV's Lowered Expectations? Why concept cars never look as good in production as they did in prototype. Am I really immune to poison ivy? Celebrity scandals. The effectiveness of certain mass market ad campaigns. Logan kicking the wussy out of Scott Summers. Does really heavy metal have a specific atomic mass, and if so, is black metal more or less like a black hole? Curling. Cursing. Socktopi. Old relationships. New relationships. Will any 21st century inventor ever be ass well regarded as the Edisons and Teslas of the universe? The national epidemic of post-undergraduate anti-relations. The future. My future. Where to go and how to get there. Will someone ever pay me for being a 20th century media historian? Whether or not my brain has a secret Off switch.

The default grillmaster, hanging out with friends, arguing, loudly, about any of the things I spend a lot of time thinking about (see above.) I have finally taught my friends to soak the skewers before I come over. Or by myself, at some basement show, wishing that people would stop trying to make out while I'm watching the band.

I'm a title holding Rock Paper Scissors champion. Vive la maetball.

You:

-are willing to forgive a username i registered with umpteen years ago and am now stuck with

- wander into Home Depot and often think "...Wow. Robots."

- enjoy mini golf, amusement parks, bowling, skeeball, or other 8th birthday party-esque forms of entertainment.

- think that the adventure is the whole point.

- keep moving forward.

I've been called out for saying that I'm not interested in "car" people. Let me restate that:
It's ok if you're a car person. It's not ok if you think that the type of car you own is a major selling point. Everyone has hobbies. If you consider your hobby a qualifier for your virility, you're doing it wrong. Come to think of it, this really applies to ALL hobbies.